so many people are envious whenever i tell them that my boyfriend is a chef. right away the images of a chef cooking for his girlfriend at home pops up in their head and they blurt out, "oh, you are so lucky!"
this entry here is to persuade all of you who have had this thought bubble whenever someone tells you she's dating a chef, to go look for another thought bubble such as: "oh, the poor, lonely girl!"
so, here are some 10 reasons why one should not date a chef (if you are thinking of dating one):

1. the myth that all chefs cook at home is false. most chefs cannot tolerate the inadequate equipment in that room you call the kitchen. if they ever attempt to cook, they'll start complaining about the lack of something you should have which they have in their professional kitchen. note to self: when remodelling the house again, add professional kitchen after robbing a bank.

2. chefs are rarely home, therefore the chances of you tasting an exquisite meal at home is almost nil. yes, chefs have a gruelling schedule and most are workaholics who almost never leave the kitchen. some go back to work on their off days because there's a wine party or some vip is coming for dinner.

3. they are chefs. if you try a new recipe on them, they may scoff at you, especially if you have a cooking disability like me.

4. chefs have dishwashers in their kitchens. if he ever cooks at home, the dishwasher will be you and you spend a huge part of the morning washing tons of greasy pots and pans. yes, you only get to them in the morning because, first, they look extremely indimidating and second, you'd want to spend all that precious little time you have with him. or you may have already been intoxicated by indecent amount of alcohol to do anything.

5. you cannot follow your own schedule. since a chef's day off can be illusive, you must be able to be spontaneous and cancel certain things you planned to do.

6. booking holidays can be a hassle. refer to point no. 5.

7. you have to attend dinner parties at his clients' homes, many of whom will try to impress the chef with their culinary skills. you will have to entertain the wives of these people and engage in the most boring conversations. the upside to this is they usually have a huge collection of very good wine, so who cares about the quality of conversation anyway.

8. since chefs are never at home, you will have to cover all the chores that need to be done. my normal conversation ends: "sorry but i need to go home and clean the house".

9. working 12 to 14 hours everyday can cause a dive in sex drive. enough-said.

10. since he doesn't cook at home, you have to eat at the restaurant and still pay for your meal! very difficult when you're almost always broke, like me.

i still love patrick very much even though it can be very tough sometimes but i've just spent the entire morning washing pots so it's nice to let off a little steam now and then. oh, my apologies for only offering you 10 reasons because i have to go clean the house now.