i met up with the girl who committed suicide.

i'm known to be the most tactless person ever and i really have no idea what to say to her.

things like:

"that was the dumbest thing to do"

or

"tell me all the details, right down from exactly what you took!"

isn't going to comfort her so i settled with:

"how are you?"

boring, i know but i felt i had contributed enough grief just by asking that.

the answer is so obvious.

She came by my place yesterday to tell me the whole story.

this may truly be the one time i didn't feel great digging up the dirt on someone.

it seems like the guy had been lying to her.

there're just some things i just can't figure out, like why he promised her so many things when he didn't have the intention to fulfil them.

this is also the thing that scares and paralyses me. how can we tell if the person you love is telling the truth?

personally most guys i know have confided that they have at one point or the other cheated on their girlfriends.

she was telling me to watch out for myself.

i don't think i can do that.

maybe i'm naive but i tend to trust people very easily. i don't think i can keep an eye on everyone just in case they have evil intentions. i'll just go crazy.

i don't think i'll like it very much if the person i love keeps an extremely close eye on me either.

i always thought it's better to have trust and faith in people who mean something to you. if they do let you down by not telling the truth or whatever, it's not your fault.

speaking of blame, someone had recently equated a close one's death to her partying.

i have no idea where that came from but girls just seem to put the blame on themselves when something bad happens.

i for one do not like to take on blame.

i hate that.

sometimes i do but i'll always kick myself for doing that.

i think i have been rather affected by all that has been going on in my friends' lives.

i do hope things get better for them next year.